Tag Archives: Wife

Love Your Husband Even If…


Myself . 

By T. V. Antony Raj

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Love your husband even if he criticises your cooking; he purely wants you to excel in the culinary arts!

Love your husband even if he tells you to make tea or coffee at odd times; he wants to feel fresh to listen to your nonstop nagging.

Love your husband even if he steals a glance at other women; it is his way of checking that you are still the best.

Love your husband even if he makes himself a nuisance by snoring at night; it proves that he is more relaxed after being married to you.

Love your husband even if he forgets your birthday and the necklace you were yearning for so long; remember, he is saving the money for your future.

Love your husband always, because you do not have any other choice; remember the oath you both took during your marriage ceremony, “to love and cherish” each other forever.

Love your husband always, because, Exodus 20:13 admonishes: “Thou shalt not kill”; anyway, even if you are not religious, murder is a still a legal offence.

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A Case for Divorce


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Myself By T.V. Antony Raj

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Divorce decree

There are thousands of reasons for requesting a divorce.

There have been cases where either the husband or the wife was found ‘too shy’ to consummate their marriage.

A veiled Sudi woman

Though it may seem bizarre, in a village near the southwestern city of Khamis Mushayt, located east of Abha, in Saudi Arabia, a 50-year-old woman, shrouded forever after the native tradition, requested a divorce after 30 years of marriage.

Why?

Because her husband tried to get a sneak view of her face by lifting her veil as she slept.

We often come across instances like an 83-year-old woman divorcing her 81-year-old husband after 60 years of marriage for having sex with his 30-years-younger mistress at work.

Even a sloppy, slovenly wife “fed up” with a ‘spick-and-span’ husband, cleaning anything and everything all the time, can find a reason for divorcing her husband.

However, the following anecdote I read on the net fascinated me and I thin it is undoubtedly a case for divorce.

Last week was my birthday. When I woke up, my wife did not wish me nor did my children.

I expected my parents to call and wish me. But my phone did not ring.

I went to work and surprisingly not a single colleague wished me.

As I entered my cabin, muttering invectives and silently cursing all, I heard the sweet melodious voice of Jane, my secretary, say, “Happy Birthday Boss!”

Her greeting made me feel special. Elated, I asked her to join me for lunch.

After lunch, Jane coyly said she had a surprise gift for me and invited me to her apartment.

When we entered her apartment Jane made me sit on the comfortable sofa cum bed in the sitting room. She gave me a bewitching smile and winked at me and said, “Relax! Let me freshen up and change into something simple and more comfortable! Be ready for a shock!” She went to her bedroom.

After about ten minutes there was a high-pitched scream from the bedroom. It somewhat sounded like “SURPRISE!

Jane came out wearing a simple nightie, holding a birthday cake in her hands, followed by my wife, my parents, my two children, a few of my friends and my colleagues.

Happy Birthday Cake

And I was sitting there on the sofa… NAKED!

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My Wife Doesn’t Work!


Myself

By T. V. Antony Raj

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Housewife.

Brent went to see his doctor.

Doctor: How are you?

Brent: I feel tired working all the time.

Doctor: Where do you work?

Brent: I am an accountant in a bank.

Doctor: Your Wife?

Brent: She doesn’t work. She just stays at home. I am the sole provider.

Doctor: What does she do at home?

Brent: She cooks and cleans the house because she doesn’t work.

Doctor: Can’t she find work?

Brent: She can’t even write her own résumé!

Doctor: Has she not studied?

Brent: She has. But not enough.

Doctor: Why don’t you ask her to join some finishing school?

Brent: I want her to, but she’s confused.

Doctor: Why?

Brent: It’s seven years since we got married. We have a five-year-old son, but we want one more child, and she is getting old.

Doctor: So why don’t you have the next child?

Brent: Both of us are a bit confused in this matter.

Doctor: Why are you both confused?

Brent: Even yesterday she asked me what I would like her to do: go to work, go to school, or bear a second child?

Doctor: What did you say?

Brent: I told her to do all three.

Doctor: What did she say?

Brent: She is adamant and says how can she do all three when she cannot do any two at the same time.

Doctor: Isn’t she right?

Brent: No. She doesn’t want to work. She just wants to stay at home.

Doctor: Who prepares breakfast for the family?

Brent: My wife of course, because she doesn’t work.

Doctor: At what time does your wife wake up in the morning?

Brent: Around 5 AM, I guess.

Doctor: Why does she wake up so early?

Brent: Because she cleans the house first before preparing breakfast.

Doctor: Who takes your son to school?

Brent: My wife does.

Doctor: Why don’t you take your son to school?

Brent: Because she doesn’t work.

Doctor: What does your wife do after leaving the child in school?

Brent: She goes to the market to buy necessary things for the house.

Doctor: And then what does she do?

Brent: She comes home and cooks.

Doctor: Who does the laundry?

Brent: My wife of course, because she doesn’t work.

Doctor: Who does the gardening?

Brent: My wife of course, because she doesn’t work.

Doctor: In the evening, after you return home from work, what do you do?

Brent: I take a complete rest after working all day at my office.

Doctor: What does your wife do when you are resting?

Brent: She prepares dinner.

Doctor: After dinner what does she do?

Brent: She washes the dishes.

Doctor: And then what does she do?

Brent: She reads bedtime stories to my son before he sleeps.

Doctor: Why don’t you read bedtime stories to your son instead of your wife?

Brent: Why should I? My wife doesn’t work!

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The Couple Who Never Fought During Their 25 Years of Marriage


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Myself . By T.V. Antony Raj

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Shiloh Shepherd pup

A couple never fought during their 25 years of marriage. Their friends and neighbors envied them, but none dared to ask them the secret of their happy married life.

Eventually, Ben, a close friend of the couple coaxed the husband to reveal their secret when his wife was not around. The husband relented.

“Do you remember my dad’s pet Bongso, the Shiloh Shepherd?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Two days after we returned from our honeymoon my dad brought Bongso to our house and asked us to look after him until he returned from his business trip. As soon as my dad left, Bongso started barking at my wife. My wife did not like the dog’s attitude. She said: ‘this is your first time’, and walked out of the room.”

“Then what happened,” asked Ben.

“My wife thought the dog was hungry. She brought some biscuits from the kitchen and placed it before Bongso.”

“Did the dog eat the biscuits?”

“He did not. Instead, he started barking at her once again. My wife’s face darkened. She shouted at the dog: ‘this is your second time’, and she left the room.”

“And then …”

“After about 15 minutes she returned to the room. When the dog saw her, it started barking at her once again. My wife was furious. She hurried back to the bedroom and came out holding my hunting rifle in her hand. She loaded the gun took aim and shot the dog saying ‘there is no third time for you’.”

“Oh my God,” gasped Ben. “What did you do?” he asked the husband.

“I shouted at her: ‘You PSYCHO you killed the dog!'”

“What did your wife say?” Ben asked.

“She stared at me and said: ‘this is your first time!’ After that I never dared to raise my voice, and our life has been rosy since then!”

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