Be careful when you ask a modern British woman ‘how her father is’. You know not what you’re asking! She might even slap you.
The origin of the phrase is open to interpretation. The Urban Dictionary has seven thoughts about where it could have come from.
The first instance about the phrase “How is your father?” is hilarious.
Writer and historian Michael Kelly, a New Zealander, traces the origin of the expression “How’s your father?” to the Victorian era.
In those days, men with daughters were very protective. The fathers took extraordinary measures to safeguard the virtue of their unmarried daughters.
Unmarried girls were kept within the bosom of their family and chaperoned on excursions. On those occasions when let out-of-bounds for social events, their fathers would often go with them discreetly.
Believe it or not, those fathers used to hide underneath the voluminous skirts of their daughters, ready to pounce on any man who transgressed the bounds of propriety.
This was okay for a father with a single daughter. But how about a father with more than one daughter? He couldn’t be everywhere at once! So, a suitor having a discrete vis-à-vis with his girl, to find out her father’s whereabouts would cautiously ask: “Annie, how is your father?“
If the girl’s father was now under her skirts, she would glance downwards to mean ‘Not now, Peter!’. She would then reply, “My father is well, thank you.” She might even add “He is alert and vigorous as ever, and maintains his interest in rusty castrating implements.“
Her beau would then say, “I have always had the greatest respect for your father, and of course for you. Let us hold hands and think about the Queen for a while.“
If the girl’s father was elsewhere, she might reply, “The mad old bastard is now between my sister Elizabeth’s thighs. Let us go into the garden and rut like stoats.“
Hence, the phrase “How is your father?” became a euphemism for you-know-what.
Since January 2013, this article, camouflaged as a news item, circulated through blogs, email, and social media. Its claim that the tradition of the Punjab Rape Festival dates back to 43 BC is utter nonsense. Factually, there is no such event as the Punjab Rape Festival. The story was simply concocted by the psychotic Jimmy Rustling.
This obviously false story caused a great deal of apprehension and dismay after it spread through the media. Not realizing that there is no such event and never ever was, many decried the imaginary event and wanted it stopped.
The comments for the post “The Punjab Rape Festival In India Begins This Week” show that the average follower of SUPER OFFICIAL NEWS is an ignoramus who could be manipulated to believe any unauthenticated absurd news, as he would when he reads the religious scriptures, mainly because it is in print.
As usual, pranksters too joined in and added fuel by defending the festival and stating they were looking forward to participating in the hypothetical event.
Sarab H: This is so messed up! I demand justice!
M Shelat: I agree. Something needs to be done to stop this!
Mark Dauglas Znenitz: I would go to this festival. Probably not participate but I would go
Eva Monreli: They are not even considering that one can get viral diseases (Like AIDS)from these people. This should be stopped!
Holly Marys: I have many many many MANY demons in me that need uncorking. May I, as an American and not Punjabi, participate so that I may perhaps be rid of my demons once and for all?
Catherine: Sick people! This is 2013 for God’s sake. Stop these archaic Men form doing injustice to the girl child.
Sharell Cook, an Australian traveller researching distinctive cultures from her early 20s, initially visited India in the year 2000 and found it a total assault on her senses, confronting, but then oddly inspiring and captivating. Even today, this impression about India has not changed. Even now, Sharell is residing in cosmopolitan Mumbai where she writes full-time while learning Hindi. This is her impression about the Allahabad Maha Kumbh Mela:
“The Kumbh Mela in India is as mesmerizing as it is spiritual. This ancient northern Indian festival is a meeting of mystical minds. The largest religious gathering in the world, the Kumbh Mela brings Hindu holy men together to discuss their faith and disseminate information about their religion. It’s attended by millions of people each day.”
Many Indians living in the United States called for the removal of the article from the website and wanted authorities to take punitive action against the author and the website that published it.
In late January 2013, the writer responding to the angry calls posted the following message on his Facebook Page:
I’ve been getting emails from people saying that I should remove my story entitled, “The Punjab Rape Festival In India Begins This Week.”
The point of the story was an activism piece to educate people about what is going on over there on a daily basis, because a lot of people don’t know. I read everything I can get my hands on and every day there’s another story about another horrible rape or murder of a young girl in India…. usually where the guy gets off, not being punished, or worse, where the victim is forced to marry her attacker.
So I wrote up the most exaggerated, ridiculous thing I could think of… it gets people to pass around the story and then question what’s going on over there if they didn’t already know. A simple Google search of “Punjab rape” brings up 100+ different stories of young girls getting raped, murdered, forced to marry the man who raped them… it’s disgusting.
Anyway, that’s the point of the story and I’m not pulling the article.
In an email to hoax-slayer.com the author wrote:
One of the other MAJOR factors for doing the story was collecting money for the women of India for schooling, clothes, help in leaving abusive situations. So, a few months ago I added this to the bottom of the story:
WANT TO HELP THE WOMEN IN INDIA? THEN DO SOMETHING! Click here to learn more.
I checked out that charity thoroughly. They are 100% legit giving 90-95% of collected funds to the cause.
Once again the stupid readers of this post came out with absurdities:
Sarah H: They give awards to men in India for raping woman? WOW.
Samantha: This is just disgusting! They don’t arrest them for rape but they give them awards??? SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE ABOUT THIS!
Lena: Govt must come forward to support RAPE FESTIVAL. This is the only world class entertainment ,where every one love to participate. Tourist visits to India ,will generate collosal amount for the nation. Allow everyone to participate,give them FREE CHANCE to win award. GOVT must provide FREE VISA Access. Let people of the world to enjoy and feel free to taste of RAPE. RAPE reduces heat,its good for health and for the growth of man kind. C.M needs to be changed,since he wants to snatch this freedom from people of punjab, which is against the will of the nation. Democracy in India should not tarnished at any cost.
Readers of SUPER OFFICIAL NEWS made these comments despite the following image posted proudly on its site on the page “Super Official Awards.”
The name Jim Rustling is the pseudonym of an author named Paul Horner, a Staff Writer for NATIONAL REPORT who claims to have won numerous awards for journalism including a Peabody Award and a Pulitzer Prize.
How authentic are the writings of Jimmy Rustling a.k.a. Paul Horner?
I understand that “Fred Dursk” is another pseudonym of Paul Horner. Now, I wonder how many other pseudonyms this person has, and whether the name “Paul Horner” itself is real, or is it another pseudonym of some other person hiding behind these names.
A disclaimer right at the bottom of the posts in SUPER OFFICIAL NEWS reads as follows:
Disclaimer: Lulz killing of any kind will not be tolerated. If you are being a buzzkill, your comment can be altered or deleted. This entire site is pretty much just a resume containing a collection of my writings and such for the off chance that someone like The Onion or The Daily Show ever happens to stop by. Until then just remember, if it’s on the internet it must be true.