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During his morning walk on a pleasant Saturday, the preacher saw an aged woman seated on her front step, happily puffing a cigar. He walked up to her. “Good morning ma’am,” the preacher greeted her.
She looked up, smiled at him.
“May, I sit?” he asked.
Puffing the cigar, she moved a wee bit to her left and patted the space to her right. He sat beside her. For a few minutes, both sat silently just looking around.
“Do you walk daily? You look virile and healthy,” the woman asked.
The preacher felt flattered. “Yes. How about you?” he asked in return.
She smiled. “I don’t exercise at all,” she replied.
“Is it so. I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look. What is your secret?” he asked the ever smiling woman.
“My secret? It’s the cigars! I smoke more than a dozen a day,” she said proudly.
“Oh,” gasped the preacher.
“The extra big joint before I go to bed helps me to rise refreshed in the morning,” she added.
The preacher couldn’t believe his ears.
She continued, “Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every other day.”
“What do you eat?”
“I eat junk food all the time at fast-food outlets.”
“What do you do on weekends?”
“On weekends? I pop pills, have sex! In fact, I’m waiting for my date to turn up any moment!” the woman beamed happily.
“You are absolutely amazing ma’am! By the way, how old are you?”
“Only sixty-nine. I am sweet 69. I love being 69!”
“Isn’t it wrong for living so frivolously at your age?” the preacher inquired.
“What? Wrong?” She snorted. “You are a preacher, aren’t you? Have you not read your bible? Go and read: Ecclesiastes 8:15, Isaiah 22:13, and 1 Corinthians 15:32 where you will find whether what I do is right or wrong. “
On seeing a car approaching the woman got up and said, “Goodbye. Go, read your bible.”
As soon as the preacher reached home he picked King James lying on his study table. He hurriedly turned the pages of the bible and read:
Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun.
(Ecclesiastes 8:15)
And behold joy and gladness, slaying oxen, and killing sheep, eating flesh, and drinking wine: let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we shall die.
(Isaiah 22:13)
If after the manner of men I have fought with beasts at Ephesus, what advantageth it me, if the dead rise not? let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we die.
(1 Corinthians 15:32)
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Impressions 