Tag Archives: Parenting

A Daddy’s Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)


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By Dr. Kelly Flanagan

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Father and Happy Daughter

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common: You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy

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This post is, of course, dedicated to my daughter, my Cutie-Pie. But I also want to dedicate it beyond her.

I wrote it for my wife, who has courageously held on to her sense of worth and has always held me accountable to being that kind of “boy.”

I wrote it for every grown woman I have met inside and outside of my therapy office—the women who have never known this voice of a Daddy.

And I wrote it for the generation of boys-becoming-men who need to be reminded of what is really important—my little girl finding a loving, lifelong companion is dependent upon at least one of you figuring this out. I’m praying for you.

Dr. Kelly Flanagan

Dr. Kelly Flanagan is a licensed clinical psychologist, practicing at Alliance Clinical Associates in Wheaton, IL. He is also a writer and blogs regularly about the redemption of our personal, relational, and communal lives. Kelly is married, has three children, and enjoys learning from them how to be a kid again. You can find him on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.

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Re-posted from Untangled

God speaks in Volkswagen Polo ad


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By Manjit Pahuja

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Will God punish your child if the home work is not completed while you are out for dinner!

A Volkswagen advertisement says so in its latest ad.

GOD SPEAKS IN VOLKSWAGEN POLO AD - 01The German car maker’s TV commercial for its ‘Polo’ version shows a mother picking up her son from school. As her son sits in the car, she informs that he will have to do his home work all by himself as she will be going out with his dad. She warns him that if he doesn’t do his homework, God will punish him. The child then asks her if God would have time to notice and punish him. There comes the answer via the Bluetooth installed in the car as the child’s father changes his voice and says, “I am busy, but I am sure I can take some time to come punish you.” The child is left surprised and the commercial ends after introducing the car’s features.

GOD SPEAKS IN VOLKSWAGEN POLO AD - 02How many of us scare kids in the name of God? It could have sounded better if the mother said that you would make God and us happy if you were a good boy and do your work on your own.

GOD SPEAKS IN VOLKSWAGEN POLO AD - 03

The voice heard by the child in the car scares him and the mother has been shown happy doing that.

As parents, we always give a beautiful picture of God to our kids and by making a small child hear a forceful voice is like going back to old ways like, ‘buddha baba aa jayega’ (‘that scary man is due anytime). Why can’t TV ads show kids a better picture of lot of things and issues?

We all believe in making our kids smart, but at the same time we don’t want to scare them.

Why do kids love Santa Claus? It’s because kids see an old man with a long beard getting them gifts, which of course parents keep. Haven’t we all done that!

A twinkle and a smile on our kids face make us happy. What is God for our kids? They see us praying and they follow the same. We tell them that He will always be there for you and they believe us. Many kids remember God before and after exams or any other work.

It’s their innocence. In addition, even if they do not get the desired result, as parents we guide them by asking them to work hard next time.

The advertisement in question shows a child not more than 4 or 5 years, an age where they need a parent’s help for homework. We always teach our kids that God punishes those who do bad and evil things. Not doing homework is not a punishable act by God.

Let us deliver good messages to our young and smart generation. or would you be amused by the defence published by Business Line newspaper: “The look of awe on the face of the little one makes the film. And the innovative way of conveying the message about the new feature-laden Polo works rather well.”

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Re-posted from g caffè 

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Add this anywhere

 

God Wants To Fix Your Transmurner Before You Ask Him


I found this article by Bryan Daniels very interesting and humorous, so with his permission I have reblogged it.

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Add this anywhere

Chief of the least

Your Father knows what you need before you ask him…(Matthew 6:8)

I struggle with prayer.

Conceptually and practically.

Most of those struggles are probably because I put unwarranted credence on my feelings at any given prayer moment. If I don’t feel a tangible groaning, or a burning in my chest, or goosebumps on my neck, then my prayers must have been rendered ineffective. Right? If I voice my prayer simply and without a series of major spiritual manifestations then certainly my appeals never made it past the bedroom ceiling. Right?

Wrong.

I am submitting to the awful doctrine that unless my prayer experience “feels” right to me, then God is impotent to answer them. In a twisted way, that is putting emotional subjectivism on the throne and kicking a Sovereign King off of it.

On top of this, Matthew 6:8 raises a different objection in the conscientious Christian:

God already knows what we will ask, so why…

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