Tag Archives: Humor

Marketing Terms


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Myself By T.V. Antony Raj
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Well if you are novice to marketing then let us look at these usual and useful scenarios at a party and understand the terms used in this field :

Direct Marketing

Party - Direct Marketing (152x224)

You walk up to a lady and say “How about having a nightcap with me?”

Telemarketing

Party - Telemarketing (224x149)

You walk up to a lady and get her telephone number. The next day you telephone her and say “How about having dinner tonight with me?”

Advertising

Party - Advertising (149x224)

Ask one of your friends to walk up to a girl and ask him to point at you and say “Hi, you see that gentleman over there. He is very rich. How about having a ride tonight with him?”

Public Relations

Party - Public Relations (224x173)

On seeing this lady you adjust your tie and walk up to her, pour her a drink, pick up her purse when she drops it, offer her a ride and  then say “How about having a nightcap with me?”

Brand Recognition

Party - Brand Recognition (197x224)

A lady walks up to you and says “I know that you are very rich! Will you marry me?”

Customer Feedback

Party - Customer Feedback (224x148)

You walk up to a lady and say “You are so lovely. How about having a nightcap with me?” She slaps you on your face.

Demand and Supply

Party - Demand and Supply (224x128)

You walk up to a lady and say “Hi, how about having a nightcap with me?” She taps the shoulder of the person standing next to her and introduces him as her husband.

Market Competition

Party - Market Competition - 2 (207x224)

You walk up to a girl and before you could utter a word, another person budges in and says “Hi, how about having a nightcap with me?”

New Market Restriction

Party - New Market Restriction (224x149)

You walk up to a girl offer her a drink and before you could say “Hi, … ” your wife stares at you and the girl.

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Peeping Tom


I know a lady who lives on the 3rd floor of a nearby apartment. This is a fairly good neighborhood; but of late she has been having trouble with a ‘peeping tom’ living in an adjoining apartment. Every time she goes out to her bathroom, she removes her clothes and steps into the bathtub, this peeping tom looks through her bathroom louvers and stares at her.

She complained to the old caretaker of the building about this peeping tom, and the old man wanted positive proof before he could take any action.

FINALLY the lady got a picture of him from her balcony while he was staring at her…

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Peeping Tom

Gotcha!!!

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Johnny, Johnny …


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Myself . By T.V. Antony Raj
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My former student Chandru Ganapathy has shared Amey Rane‘s post on Facebook. It is a transmutation of the nursery rhyme “Johnny, Johnny …” I hope novices and veterans in the IT field will chant it as their daily mantra. Here it is:

Johnny, Johnny … Yes Papa!

Job in IT … Yes Papa!

Too much work … Yes Papa!

Lot of tension … Yes Papa!

Family Life … No Papa!

Personal life … Lost Papa!

BP, Sugar … High Papa!

Yearly Bonus … Joke Papa!

Annual pay … Low Papa!

Promotion, Incentive … HA! HA! HA!

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Cooing, Crooning, Bawling and Hollering


Read downwards.

This what you would hear from a couple cooing and crooning behind the bushes. Obviously before marriage:

He:  Yes. I have been waiting all these days for this only.
She: Will you think of leaving me?
He:  No. Never. I will not even dream of it.
She: Do you love me?
He:  Yes. Today and forever.
She: Will you cheat on me?
He:  I would ratherI die.
She: Will you kiss me?
He:  Surely. What a happy instance this would be!
She: Will you scold me?
He:  Never. Don’t ever think of it?
She: Will you hold my hand and walk with me till the end?

Read upwards.
This is the same conversation that we heard afore, But now it has metamorphosed into a conversation after marriage.

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Sweet and Cryptic Words used by Women.


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Myself By T.V. Antony Raj
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I came across this caboodle of sweet and cryptic words used by women penned by an anonymous author under a different title.

1. Fine:  Word used to end an argument when she is right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes:  If she is getting dressed, this means ‘half an hour’. Five minutes are only 5 minute given to you to watch the game on TV before helping around the house.

3. Nothing:  This is the calm before the storm hits you. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that generate ‘nothing’ usually ends in ‘fine’ (see #1 above) .

4. Go Ahead:  This is a dare, not permission. So, don’t do it.

5. Loud Sigh:  This is actually a word –  a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks that you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you about nothing.  (See #3 above for the meaning of ‘nothing’) .

6. That’s Okay:  This is one of the most dangerous cryptic statement uttered by a woman. ‘That’s Okay’ means that she want to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will realize and pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks:  Do not faint or question if she thanks you. Your response should be “you’re welcome.”  This ‘Thanks’ seems to be true unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’, which by the way is pure sarcasm and is not thanking you at all. In this case do not respond with “you’re welcome” that will result in a ‘Whatever’ (See #8 below).

8. Whatever:  It’s a woman’s way of saying f*** you.

9. Don’t worry about it, I got it.:  Beware. This a dangerous statement meaning that she had told you to do something several times before and is doing it herself now. You will now be asking “What’s wrong” to which her response would be ‘nothing’ ((See #3 above for the meaning of ‘nothing’) .

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