10 | June | 2014 | Impressions

A woman of worth is the crown of her husband,
but a disgraceful one is like rot in his bones.
– Proverbs 12:4

The presence of near and dear ones, reception parties – large or small, and honeymoons, etc., most certainly enhance the pleasures of the occasion and the joy of a wedding.

But what is the ultimate goal of a marriage from a man’s viewpoint?

Universally, all men wish for a perfect wife. But what does one mean by a “perfect wife“? What are the qualities needed to be an ideal spouse? Many women do not know about it though most of the qualities of a perfect wife are already built into them and develops as she grows up.

In India, Neeti Saara or Neeti Sastra is a popular collection of morals written by Baddena, a 13th century Telugu poet, believed to be a Chola prince named Bhadra Bhupalan.

Baddena sums the six noble virtues an ideal wife should have in a verse as:

‘కార్యేషు దాసి, కరణేషు మంత్రి, భోజ్యేషు మాతా, రూపేచ లక్ష్మీ, శయనేషు రంభ, క్షమయా ధరిత్రీ… and so on.

Transliteration:

“Karyeshu Dasi, Karaneshu Manthri, Bhojeshu Mata, Shayaneshu Rambha, Roopeshu lakshmi, Kshamayeshu Dharitri, Shat dharmayukta, Kuladharma Pathni‘

Translation:

Karyeshu Dasi: Work like a maidservant.

Should serve her husband like a maidservant.

Karaneshu Mantri: Advice like a minister.

Counsel her husband like a minister to deal with various problems that confront him.

Bhojeshu Mata: Feed like a mother.

Cook his food and feed him like a mother.

Shayaneshu Ramba: Please in bed like Rambha.

Satisfy her husband in bed like the heavenly courtesan Rambha, unrivalled in the art of seduction and making love.

Roopeshu Lakshmi: Beautiful like Goddess Lakshmi.

Maintain her beauty like Goddess Lakshmi (and show it to him only and not to other males). — Maintain her beauty like Goddess Lakshmi (and show it to her husband only and not to any other male).

Kshmayeshu Dharitri: Be patient like Earth.

Endure all stress and pain and be patient like Mother Earth.

Shat dharma yuktah Kula dharma Patni: A woman who has these six virtues is a good housewife.This indeed is a tall order! I do not think any woman in the 21st century would qualify as a perfect wife by meeting these six criteria.

In this age of sex equality, the women argue that these verses written by a man are chauvinistic. What will happen if a woman expects the following six qualities in a man?

Bhogeshu Raja: Rich like a king.

Rich .