To Get the Job Done Right Give It to a Woman.

On November 15, 2006, in Colin Murray on BBC Radio 1, interviewed two current operations officers of the SIS (Secret Intelligence Service), commonly known as MI6 (Military Intelligence, Section 6) which supplies Her Majesty’s government with foreign intelligence. The two officers, a male and a female, with their voices disguised for security reasons, compared their real-life experience with that of James Bond, code name 007.

The officers confirmed their lifestyles as quite glamorous and varied. They had plenty of travel and adventure overseas. They accepted developing compromising relationships with potential sources and their role as primary intelligence gatherers. They confirmed a Q-like figure, head of the technology department, exists and that their director referred to as ‘C’. They stressed that MI6 operated under British law and denied the existence of a “license to kill.” However, I feel that their denial an utter baloney because recently I came across the following intelligence account through my private grapevine.

Recently, MI6 had discreetly made aware that an opening for an assassin existed in their agency, to replace James Bond, code name 007, who is no more. Hundreds of noxious personae applied, discreetly of course.

After completing background checks, interviews, and testing, they chose three finalists – two men and a woman. They blindfolded the three and took them to a safe house.

An MI6 agent led one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a revolver and said: “This final test will confirm that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances be. Are you ready?”

The would-be assassin #1 said, “yes.”

MI6 agent: “Inside this room you will find your wife. We order you to kill her!”

The would-be assassin #1: “Do you expect me to shoot my wife?”

MI6 agent: “Okay. Put on your blindfold. We will take you and your wife back home.”

They gave the second man the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. After five minutes, the would-be assassin #2 came out. With tears in his eyes, he blabbered, “I cannot kill my wife.”

MI6 agent: “Okay. Put on your blindfold. We will take you and your wife back home.”

Then came the woman’s turn. Instructed to kill her husband, she took the gun and went into the room. MI6 agent smiled when he heard shots, one after another and then screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the sweating woman. “You gave me a gun loaded with fake bullets,” she said. “So, I had to beat him to death with the chair.”Moral of the story: “If you want a job done right ask a woman to do it.”