Category Archives: Humour

Jugaad Innovations


Myself

By T.V. Antony Raj

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Jugad Innovation (Custom)

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Jugaad is a colloquial Hindi-Urdu word that can mean an innovative fix or a simple workaround, used for solutions that bend rules, or a resource that can be used as such. Jugaad can also denote a person who can solve a complicated issue.

Here is a video of Jugaad technology put to use mainly in India and in a few other countries. I am proud to say that the majority of Indians can boast of such innovations.

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.Jugaa

Weird Isn’t It?


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Myself  .By T.V. Antony Raj

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The above video posted by Jordan on YouTube has evoked a variety of hilarious comments from the viewers. Here are some:

Eloisa Costal Bonadio: “What is it?!? English please!!

Athis Coquillon: “Chinese Instant roman noodles.”

Malcom Rosenthal: “Whatever it is, keep that over there.

Darren Zachary Munoz: “What everyone wishes their marijuana could do.”

Jason P Conyers: “Whatever that is, pour gasoline in with it, lite it up and walk away from it.” (sic)

Chantelle Leanne Bruce: “This incredible desert plant often is referred to as rose of Jericho. In its dried state, it is already a great decoration of desert type terrariums …”

Lisa Cagle: “It’s a rubber band ball.”

Fatima Sano: “How is that a rubber band ball that is able to regrow and regurgitate itself and that is hard as tree bark… Please stop I don’t think so! that was nasty and I still got the hibby gibbies from watching that #Yuck” (sic)

Brandon Bullock: “Whatever it is, I’m sure someone will blame Obama.”

 Lisa Cagle guess is correct. It is a rubber band ball.

Jordan built this elastic band ball together with his father. They bought bags of elastic bands and added them onto the ball for a year. As the ball grew, they found it quite difficult to find elastic bands, that could still make it all the way round. After a year, they got bored and stopped growing the ball. They left it under a table for another year. After a while, the elastic on the outer layers frayed and started snapping. Every day they found snapped elastic bands on the floor. Then, they decided to get rid of it.

Jordan suggested cutting the rubber band ball in half. He started sawing the ball. After about 10-15 minutes, weird stuff started happening. Jordan decided to film it. He handed the saw to his father and got his camera and filmed the bizarre.

At the time I saw this video it had been viewed 6,329,151 times.

Rubber band balls are a lot of fun to make, and the record for the largest one ever made used 700,000 elastic bands and weighed 4,097 kilograms (9,032 lb).

Wish You All a Merry Christmas!


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Myself  .By T.V. Antony Raj

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IMG_0197 (Small)

 

These cute Tiny Tot Santas are Standard I students of Vidya Matric. Hr. Sec. School, Jalladianppet, Chennai, India where my elder daughter Sujata now teaches.

These little Santas danced to Christmas Jingles during the Chrismas Day celebrations at their school on December 19, 2014.

They captivated the hearts of everyone with their hilarious performance!

How to Make a Yellow Submarine Sandwich!


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Myself  .By T.V. Antony Raj

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In this stop-motion animated video titled “Submarine Sandwich” PES shows us in a witty, funny way how to make a Yellow Submarine Sandwich!

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Musical Instruments / Tools for the Future?


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Myself  .By T.V. Antony Raj

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I came across the following video on Facebook. It reminds me of the limerick we use to sing when we were young as part of a Baila in Sri Lanka:

King Kong went to Hong Kong,
To play a game of Ping Pong,
The ball struck his Ding Dong,
And the sound it made was Dong Dong!

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“Ebola (La La)” by Rucka Rucka Ali


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Myself  .By T.V. Antony Raj

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Rucka Rucka ALI
Rucka Rucka ALI

American rapper, radio personality, singer, comedian, and satirist Rucka Rucka ALI (born January 27, 1987) has over 100 million views on YouTube for his parodies. The genesis of Rucka Rucka Ali is difficult to trace. As part of his mystique he does not reveal his actual name.

Most of Rucka Rucka Ali’s music parodies contain lyrics for shock value. On more than one occasion he has imitated ethnic celebrities and politicians such as Barack Obama, Osama bin Laden, and Kim Jong Il. He often auto-tunes his vocals.

Some of his songs include “Ching Chang Chong,” a parody of The Black Eyed Peas’ “Boom Boom Pow” full of Asian stereotypes, and “Justin’s Beaver,” a parody of B.o.B’s “Magic” ridiculing Justin Bieber.

One of Rucka Rucka ALI’s most infamous parodies was “Ima Korean,” a parody of The Black Eyed Peas’ “I Gotta Feeling.” It makes fun of Kim Jong-il and North Koreans. He later released a sequel called “My Korea’s Over,” a parody of “International Love.”

On October 26, 2014, Rucka Rucka ALI released the song “Ebola (La La)“. It is a parody of Fergie’s “L.A. Love (La La). It humorously details the Ebola epidemic of 2014. It highlights how Ebola spreads and how people stereotyped as “Blacks” have Ebola.

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Rucka Rucka ALI’s “Ebola (La La)” Lyrics

[Intro]
(La-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la)

[Verse One]
I tell you where it’s from
Africa
That’s from where Ebola comes
West Side
It hides in the suitcase
2 days later
It lands in USA
I get it from my girlfriend
& give it to my dad
I catch it on the subway
& leave it in the cab
I eat it at Subway
Drink it at Starbucks
Ebola’s everywhere
& I give no fucks

[Pre-Hook One]
They scared
It’s bad
Ebola’s gonna kill us all dead
They mad
How’d this happen?
Gotta make sure that nobody else gets it
I’m sorry but I have it & you have it
Or you’ll get it so forget it
Don’t sweat it
Just let it be
I’m telling you Ebola’s not the Enemy
Listen

[Hook One]
I have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la & you have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la & we have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Everybody has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Selena has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Justin has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Taylor has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Jesus has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Ebola

[Bridge One]
Every shitty little village in Africa has Ebo-la
Every city in America is getting it now
Just go with it bruh

[Verse Two]
Airports
Check if he’s Black
He could have Ebola so send him back
In fact keep a eye on the Black Eye Peas
Mostly Black & Guy
Don’t worry about Peas
& the Cosbys could have Ebola also Oprah
Let’s just close up Detroit til this crisis is contained
Don’t let the Obamas on the plane cause

[Pre-Hook Two]
They black, they could have Ebola
Might as well also watch for Ayrabs
If they have a brown face
We’ll keep em safe in Guantanamo Bay
I’m sorry for everybody for the drama but we’re gonna get Ebola if we let black people in
Ebola’s not a country in Africa
It’s the whole continent

[Hook Two]
I have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
You have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Obama has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Kanye has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Will Smith has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
2Pac has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Steve Harvey has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Magic Johnson has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la & AIDS

[Bridge Two]
Diggy & Biggie & Jay-Z & Nas have Ebola
Stephanie DJ & Kimmy Gibbler have Ebola
Every shittle little village in Africa has Ebo-la
Every city in America is getting it now
Just go with the flow

[Hook Three]
You have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Your mom has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Your Uncle Tom has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Ariana has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Ben Affleck has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Matt Damon has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
He got it from Ben Affleck
La-la-la-la-la
The Kardashians have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Ebola
(La-la-la-la-la)

[Outro]
I have some Ebola
(La-la-la-la-la)
We all have Ebola
(La-la-la-la-la)
We need some Ricola
(La-la-la-la-la)
& some Pepsi Cola
(La-la-la-la-la)
Tommy has Ebola
(La-la-la-la-la)
Billy has Ebola
(La-la-la-la-la)
Jason has Ebola
(La-la-la-la-la)
Trini has Ebola
Oh wait no, she died years ago

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Pass the Salt


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Myself . By T.V. Antony Raj

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Pass the salt

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Youngsters, including my grandson, label me old fashioned when I sneer at them using their smartphones. I welcome technology. Way back in 1983, I was the first person to teach computer science with my Apple IIe in Tirunelveli and Tuticorin Districts in Tamilnadu, India. Since then technology has travelled a long way and improved a million times, but not all is that good.

Technology is radically changing the way we interact with each other. While connecting us in many ways, smartphones are also disconnecting every one of us, even family members. From the time my college-going grandson enters the house, he never talks with me, but jabbers with people using his smartphone, or indulges in texting. He always dines alone while jabbering or texting using his phone.

Smartphones have brought on the phenomenon of causing “death of conversation”. The smartphone technology is affecting social cohesion in the younger generation. They do not know when to switch off their instruments and start conversing directly with those seated just next to them. Due to the rapid rise of the smartphone, our younger generation does not know what social etiquette or interpersonal relationship is.

Young filmmaker Matthew Abeler perfectly depicts the overuse of technology in his short film titled: “Pass The Salt”. While the father and mother are having dinner with their two sons, one son’s phone beeps. Then, both sons start texting. Father says, “pass the salt” and one of the texting sons passes him the pepper. The hilarious ending with the sons dumbfounded should make everyone think twice before they pull out their phone the next time in the middle of dinner.

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By the way, it is good etiquette to always pass salt and pepper together. If a person asks for just one, pass both anyway.

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Jeanne Robertson: “Don’t Send a Man to the Grocery Store.”


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Myself . By T.V. Antony Raj

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Source: floridatheatre.com
Source: floridatheatre.com

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Jeanne Robertson (born September 21, 1943) is a nationally recognized humorist and professional speaker with a thick southern  American drawl. Even at 70, she continues to charm appreciative audiences with her humorous observations about life around her. Over the years, the demand for her family friendly brand of comedy has grown exponentially. She infects everyone with her charming personality, and her deep sense of humor.

By age 13, Jeanne reached 6’2” tall signalling that she would soon soar to great heights. In 1963, named Miss North Carolina at age 19, she credits her reign as the catalyst for her career. She toured the state for a year speaking to civic organizations and garden clubs. After graduating from Auburn University, she was a gym teacher for nine years. She became one of the funniest, busiest, most popular, and successful professional corporate speakers. Now she is considered one of the funniest, busiest, most popular, and successful stand-up comedians.

You can hear Jeanne’s anecdotes daily on XM Radio’s Channel 98, Laugh USA and Sirius Radio’s Blue Collar Comedy channel 103 (XM 97) and Laugh Break channel 105.

From where does she get her inspiration?

She bases her humor on real-life situations. Jeanne once said:

When we look for humor around us, we can find it. I want to weave a story that makes people laugh their head off, but I also want it to be a point to the story. I want people to say, ‘the same thing happened to me’ when they leave the show.

On April 29, 2008, she spoke at the White House for National Volunteer Week to honor the 1,300 volunteers who donate time to work at the White House.

Jeanne Robertson, a rising comedy star at age 71 (Source: httphamptonroads.com)
Jeanne Robertson, a rising comedy star at age 71 (Source: httphamptonroads.com)

Jeanne Robertson is an award winning corporate speaker. Among many honors, she was a Speaker Hall Of Fame inductee; the first woman to win the National Speakers Association’s prestigious Cavett Award; the only woman to receive Toastmasters’ International Golden Gavel Award;, and the NCAA SEC and Auburn University’s 2000 Woman Entrepreneur of the Year Award.

She has seven nationally released DVDs, three humorous books: “The Magic of Genie,” “Mayberry Humor across the USA,” and “Don’t Let the Funny Stuff Get Away.” She has hundreds of hours on Sirius-XM Satellite Radio’s Family Comedy, and Blue Collar Comedy channels. Jeanne has more than 20 million views on YouTube. Some of her most popular anecdotes are: “Don’t Go to Vegas Without A Baptist,” “Don’t Bungee Jump Naked,” “Left Brain vs. Intruder,” and “Don’t Send a Man to the Grocery Store.”

When Jeanne was in need of some ingredients to make a cake, her husband volunteered to go to the grocery shop. What did he come home with?

Click on this line to read North Carolina’s favorite daughter of comedy, sharing her recipe for pound cake—and laughter.

Jeanne Robertson is hilarious! Her clean old fashioned humorous depiction of everyday situations never fails to have audiences of all ages rolling with laughter. You will agree with me after viewing this video titled “Don’t Send a Man to the Grocery Store!

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To All Sleep-deprived Parents… O You Terror!


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Myself By T.V. Antony Raj

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O You Terror! (Source: gettyimages)
O You Terror! (Source: gettyimages)

Carmina Burana means “Songs from Beuern” in Latin. It is the name given to a manuscript of 254 poems and dramatic texts from 11th to 13th century. “Beuern” is short for Benediktbeuern. The collection found in 1803 in the Benedictine monastery of Benediktbeuern, is now housed in the Bavarian State Library in Munich.

These pieces are in most cases bawdy, irreverent, and satirical. Written by students and clergy, in Medieval Latin, a few are in Middle High German, and some with traces of Old French or Provençal.

Twenty-four poems in Carmina Burana were set to music by Carl Orff in 1936 and his composition quickly became popular and a staple piece of the classical music repertoire. Scores of film soundtracks including Lord of the Rings have used the opening and closing movement, “O Fortuna”.

The Sydney Symphony Orchestra launched its “Say it with Carmina” contest inviting Australians to come up with new lyrics.

Matthew Hodge, is a father of three living in Sydney, Australia. He sent his entry an “An Ode to Sleep Deprived Parents and Terrorizing Toddlers” to the contest. Among the many entries submitted, including odes to the Pope, it was Hodge’s entry with its hilarious phrases such as, “Oh you terror, get down from there. Mummy’s getting cranky,” that received the most votes. He won the first prize.

The Sydney Symphony Orchestra.
The Sydney Symphony Orchestra.

The 200 members of the Sydney Symphony Orchestra somberly chanted phrases like “Where are your pants? What have you done with my purse?” with a straight face making Hodge’s words more funny.

Even if this musical offering from the Sydney Symphony Orchestra won’t make your chores and stress go away, it is sure to bring a smile on your face.

THE ODE TO SLEEP DEPRIVED PARENTS AND TERRORISING TODDLERS

O’ you terror!
Get down from there!
Mummy’s getting cranky…

Put my phone down.
Where are your pants?
What have you done with my purse?
Don’t throw those blocks.
What is that smell?
Why do you look so happy?
What’s in your mouth?
Who ripped that book?
Why won’t you just stop moving?

He’s on the chair!
Just standing there!
Wobbling like a drunk man.
Where is my mug?
What was that crash?
Who let you in the kitchen?
You’ve got a knife!
Put it down now!
Don’t wave it near your sister!

Put my phone down.
Where are my apps?
Who dialled triple zero?

Why won’t you sleep?
Is it your teeth?
I need another coffee!
My head’s so sore!
Look at the floor!
Cleaning will take forever.

What’s wrong with you?
What did I do?
Why do you do this to me?
I hope when you…
Have some kids too…
They drive you crazy!

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If You Buy a Bullet, You Must Go to Ladakh!


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Myself  .By T.V. Antony Raj

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Royal Enfield Bullet Sporty single 500cc (Source: enfieldmotorcycles.in)
Royal Enfield Bullet Sporty single 500cc (Source: enfieldmotorcycles.in)

Today I saw the following write-up in enfieldmotorcycles.in under the heading “ROYAL ENFIELD BULLET SPORT CONCEPT“:

Imagine if Royal Enfield releaseded a sporty single 500cc for the European market. (sic)

The Bullet Sport Concept could look a little like this. The production version will become simpler in order to reduce the price, but fundamentally it could have the same shape.

The new engine is quite an improvement but this design might still be a bit of wishful thinking. It looks good, no doubt about that, and if you had a race series with only these bikes allowed, it could be a lot of fun. So, if you think about it that way, why not? Interesting.

Yesterday, I came across an article in fakingnews.firstpost.com titled “Man’s Bullet motorcycle taken back for not visiting Ladakh within 6 months of purchase“. It was posted by  in a tongue-in-cheek demeanor

I confess that I am an ignoramus when it comes to the subject of motorcycles. I have only a TVS Heavy Duty Super XL. As I could not reach the author of this interesting post, can anyone tell me whether there is an iota of truth in this revelation?

Here is the body of Mr. Sandeep Kadian’s post:

Motorcycle manufacturing company Royal Enfield has shocked one of its customers when they confiscated his Bullet motorcycle after he failed to visit Ladakh even after 6 months of purchase.

Rajat Sharma from Dwarka in Delhi had bought a new Bullet motorcycle in May this year, but it was forcibly taken back from him by Royal Enfield after he was found not following the unwritten clauses of the user manual.

Bullet bike trip to Leh-Ladakh region could soon be made compulsory by constitutional amendment. (Source: fakingnews.firstpost.com)
Bullet bike trip to Leh-Ladakh region could soon be made compulsory by constitutional amendment. (Source: fakingnews.firstpost.com)

Speaking to Faking News, a bewildered Rajat said, “This is crazy. I got a call from their customer service department who asked me how my Ladakh experience was. When I told them that I haven’t been there yet, they arrived and took back the bike!”

“I tried telling them that I work as an IT engineer and we don’t get enough days off to plan a road trip to Ladakh, but they didn’t listen. They returned the amount I had paid for the bike and took it away with them,” Rajat recounted as he broke down in tears.

When we contacted Royal Enfield for their side of the story, they strongly defended their decision and claimed that Rajat has hurt their brand image by traveling only between Delhi and Gurgaon riding on a Bullet.

“Take a DTC bus or a shared auto if that’s what you want to do. Why buy a Bullet for that?” Marketing manager Mr. Ramesh Rastogi told Faking News.

“See, it is an unwritten rule that if you have a Bullet, you must ride on it to Ladakh. By not going there for 6 months, what is Mr. Rajat trying to say? That our Bike is to be used in city traffic? This is unacceptable!” he explained how the user manual instructions were not met by Rajat.

“In fact, Rajat should be glad that we just confiscated the bike and didn’t seek legal action for causing damage to our brand image in the market. Let this be a warning to all future buyers, we won’t compromise on our brand image,” Mr. Rastogi declared.

“If you buy a Bullet, you must go to Ladakh. At least go till Rohtang immediately,” he added.

Sources tell Faking News that Rajat had promised to go to Ladakh as a compromise, but without a Bullet motorcycle. This offer of settlement was laughed off by the bike company.

“Going to Ladakh without Bullet? Who does he think he is? A Chinese soldier?” Mr. Rastogi said.

On an unrelated note, industrialist Anil Ambani’s broom was taken away from his home after he didn’t share an image on social media showing him cleaning up dry leaves as part of Prime Minister’ Swachchh Bharat Mission.

Oh my! The last paragraph in the post, and the following disclaimer I found in another post in the same website cleared my doubts.

Disclaimer: This article has NOT been edited or written by the Faking News editorial team for publication as a mainstream article. This is a user generated content, and could be unusually better or worse in quality than an article published on the mainstream Faking News website. You too can write your own news report on My Faking News.

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