Category Archives: Humour

Two Cows in Political Isms …


By T.V. Antony Raj


In the ancient days to convey their viewpoint across to their listeners orators used metaphors, similes, and analogies. Now, to explain complex ideas we use simple and humorous images and share them using the internet.

Yo have two coves

The various anecdotes that start with the saying “You have two cows …” refer to a form of political satire. They involve variations of a scenario, where eponymous cows are used to demonstrate the functioning of some political systems.

A column titled “The Class in Political Isms” in The Chicago Daily Tribune of December 3, 1938, attributes a version involving socialism, communism, fascism and New Dealism to an address by Silas Strawn to the Economic Club of Chicago on November 29, 1935.

A Canadian writer and journalist Bill Sherk mentions that such satirical snippets circulated throughout the United States since around 1936 under the title “Parable of the Isms”.

In the collection of humour in “Vox Lycei 1939-1940” compiled by the Lisgar Alumni Association the following snippet appears on page 71 :


Socialism: You have two cows. You give one to your neighbour.

Communism: You have two cows. You give both cows to the Government which lets you buy part of it back.

American New Deal: You have two cows. The Government shoots one cow, buys the milk from the other cow and pours it down the sewer.

Nazism: You have two cows. The Government shoots you and takes the cows and sells the milk.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Social Credit: You ‘shoot the bull’.

As early as 1944, the humour of this type attracted the attention of scholars in the United States. An article in The Modern Language Journal lists the following classical ones some of which are similar to those in “Vox Lycei 1939-1940” :


Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour.


Communism: You have two cows. You give them to the government, and the government then gives you some milk.


Fascism: You have two cows. You give them to the government, and the government then sells you some milk.

Traditional Capitalism

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

In the late 1960s, comedian Pat Paulsen on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour appended this comment to capitalism: “…Then put both of them in your wife’s name and declare bankruptcy.”  Later on, he used this material as an element of his satirical US presidential campaign in 1968 and was included it on his 1968 comedy album “Pat Paulsen for President“.


Nazism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

To these, we can add Bureaucratism:



And also:
Venture capitalism





This is How Babies are Born!


By T.V. Antony Raj


Bill Cosby and Raven -Symoné
Bill Cosby and Raven -Symoné


Grownups can sometimes be so thick, it is not easy to explain some facts to them.

In this video, this little girl Olivia Kendall (played by Raven-Symoné) is having a hard time trying to explain to the doctor for women (Bill Cosby) how babies are born.



This is How Babies are Born!


Doctor:  And this is my office

Olivia:  What do you do?

Doctor:  I am a doctor for women.

Olivia:  What do you do with them?

Doctor:  I deliver their babies.

Olivia:  Deliver?

Doctor:  When the woman has the baby inside of her, then I go in and I take it out.

Olivia:  No you don’t. Everybody knows that the stork brings the baby.

Doctor:  Who, who told you that?

Olivia:  My daddy.

Doctor:  Okay. Well, the stork puts the baby inside of the mother… and then I go in and I take it out.

Olivia:  Ah, aah. The stork brings the baby to the hospital, drops it in the bassinet.

Doctor:  So you’re saying that the baby is not inside the mummy? Then why is it that the mother gets real big?

Olivia:  Because she eats a lot of food.

Doctor:  Now let me get this straight. You say that the stork carries over, puts the baby in the bassinet, and the mother is real big because she eats a lot of food?

Olivia:  You got it!

Doctor:  I see. Well, then why is it that the mother has to go to the hospital?

Olivia:  The stork brings the baby to the hospital, drops it in the bassinet. The mummy goes to the hospital and gets it.

Doctor:  If the stork does all that, why doesn’t the stork just bring it to the mummy’s house?

Olivia:  Because it’s too far. His wings will get tired.

Doctor:  Where does the stork get the babies from?

Olivia:  Heaven.

Doctor:  Okay. There is a zillion skillion babies in Heaven. How does the stork know what baby goes with what mother?

Olivia:  They are in a line. You know, like you go to the baker and get a number.

Doctor:  Why when I put my hand on the mother I can feel things moving all around?

Olivia:  That’s not a baby.

Doctor:  What is it?

Olivia:  Gas.

Doctor:  Well, thank you for explaining it to me.

Olivia:  You’re welcome, but you still didn’t tell me what you do.

Doctor:  I’m in charge of gas.


William Henry “Bill” Cosby Jr. (born July 12, 1937) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and activist. Cosby’s start in stand-up comedy began at the hungry i, originally a nightclub in North Beach, San Francisco. It was followed by a starring role in the 1960s television show I Spy. Beginning in the 1980s, Cosby produced and starred in The Cosby Show, a television sitcom, which aired from 1984 to 1992. It was rated as the number one show in America for five years, 1984 through 1989. The sitcom highlighted the experiences and growth of an affluent African-American family.

Raven-Symoné Christina Pearman (born December 10, 1985) is an American actress, comedian, model, singer, songwriter, dancer, television producer and a talk-show host. She first appeared on television in 1989 on The Cosby Show as Olivia Kendall.





Tit for Tat


By T.V. Antony Raj..



“Tit for tat” is an English saying dating to 1556, from “tip for tap”, i.e., retaliation in kind, an action given in return.

Here is an example. If you knock your sister in the head and she knocks you back, that’s tit for tat.

Tit for tat is like “blow for a blow.”

If you offer someone a chocolate  and she gives you one back, that’s not tit for tat, that’s  just offering a sweet.

On the other hand, “tit for tat” is meaner. It is something like when you hit someone and the other person retaliates with something equally bad.

This phrase is like saying “Let the punishment fit the crime!

That’s what you see in this video.

But what a punishment! I’d love that! :)




I Got Out Early…


By T.V. Antony Raj

Source: Deccan Chronicle - Counter Point  March 27, 2015
Source: Deccan Chronicle – Counter Point March 27, 2015


The following news appeared in the Deccan Chronicles on August 22, 2014. I wonder whether it has some relevance now.  You be the judge.

Restriction on wives, girlfriends for Indian players during tours?

DC | August 22, 2014

Mumbai: The Indian cricket board on Thursday denied the reports that they had restricted the WAGs (wives and girlfriends) of Indian cricketer during the away tours, according to reports.

The Board of Control for Cricket in India were contemplating to ban the players’ partners during the foreign tours. The rationale was that the Indian cricketers’ performance was getting affected by the presence of WAGs.

While the BCCI had allowed the wives of Ashwin, Vijay, Pujara, Binny and Gambhir to travel with them, the Indian cricket board had approved Virat Kohli’s request to allow Anushka Sharma to travel with him, reports.



Jugaad Innovations


By T.V. Antony Raj


Jugad Innovation (Custom)


Jugaad is a colloquial Hindi-Urdu word that can mean an innovative fix or a simple workaround, used for solutions that bend rules, or a resource that can be used as such. Jugaad can also denote a person who can solve a complicated issue.

Here is a video of Jugaad technology put to use mainly in India and in a few other countries. I am proud to say that the majority of Indians can boast of such innovations.



Weird Isn’t It?

Myself  .By T.V. Antony Raj



The above video posted by Jordan on YouTube has evoked a variety of hilarious comments from the viewers. Here are some:

Eloisa Costal Bonadio: “What is it?!? English please!!

Athis Coquillon: “Chinese Instant roman noodles.”

Malcom Rosenthal: “Whatever it is, keep that over there.

Darren Zachary Munoz: “What everyone wishes their marijuana could do.”

Jason P Conyers: “Whatever that is, pour gasoline in with it, lite it up and walk away from it.” (sic)

Chantelle Leanne Bruce: “This incredible desert plant often is referred to as rose of Jericho. In its dried state, it is already a great decoration of desert type terrariums …”

Lisa Cagle: “It’s a rubber band ball.”

Fatima Sano: “How is that a rubber band ball that is able to regrow and regurgitate itself and that is hard as tree bark… Please stop I don’t think so! that was nasty and I still got the hibby gibbies from watching that #Yuck” (sic)

Brandon Bullock: “Whatever it is, I’m sure someone will blame Obama.”

 Lisa Cagle guess is correct. It is a rubber band ball.

Jordan built this elastic band ball together with his father. They bought bags of elastic bands and added them onto the ball for a year. As the ball grew, they found it quite difficult to find elastic bands, that could still make it all the way round. After a year, they got bored and stopped growing the ball. They left it under a table for another year. After a while, the elastic on the outer layers frayed and started snapping. Every day they found snapped elastic bands on the floor. Then, they decided to get rid of it.

Jordan suggested cutting the rubber band ball in half. He started sawing the ball. After about 10-15 minutes, weird stuff started happening. Jordan decided to film it. He handed the saw to his father and got his camera and filmed the bizarre.

At the time I saw this video it had been viewed 6,329,151 times.

Rubber band balls are a lot of fun to make, and the record for the largest one ever made used 700,000 elastic bands and weighed 4,097 kilograms (9,032 lb).

Wish You All a Merry Christmas!

Myself  .By T.V. Antony Raj


IMG_0197 (Small)


These cute Tiny Tot Santas are Standard I students of Vidya Matric. Hr. Sec. School, Jalladianppet, Chennai, India where my elder daughter Sujata now teaches.

These little Santas danced to Christmas Jingles during the Chrismas Day celebrations at their school on December 19, 2014.

They captivated the hearts of everyone with their hilarious performance!

How to Make a Yellow Submarine Sandwich!

Myself  .By T.V. Antony Raj


In this stop-motion animated video titled “Submarine Sandwich” PES shows us in a witty, funny way how to make a Yellow Submarine Sandwich!




Musical Instruments / Tools for the Future?

Myself  .By T.V. Antony Raj


I came across the following video on Facebook. It reminds me of the limerick we use to sing when we were young as part of a Baila in Sri Lanka:

King Kong went to Hong Kong,
To play a game of Ping Pong,
The ball struck his Ding Dong,
And the sound it made was Dong Dong!



“Ebola (La La)” by Rucka Rucka Ali

Myself  .By T.V. Antony Raj


Rucka Rucka ALI
Rucka Rucka ALI

American rapper, radio personality, singer, comedian, and satirist Rucka Rucka ALI (born January 27, 1987) has over 100 million views on YouTube for his parodies. The genesis of Rucka Rucka Ali is difficult to trace. As part of his mystique he does not reveal his actual name.

Most of Rucka Rucka Ali’s music parodies contain lyrics for shock value. On more than one occasion he has imitated ethnic celebrities and politicians such as Barack Obama, Osama bin Laden, and Kim Jong Il. He often auto-tunes his vocals.

Some of his songs include “Ching Chang Chong,” a parody of The Black Eyed Peas’ “Boom Boom Pow” full of Asian stereotypes, and “Justin’s Beaver,” a parody of B.o.B’s “Magic” ridiculing Justin Bieber.

One of Rucka Rucka ALI’s most infamous parodies was “Ima Korean,” a parody of The Black Eyed Peas’ “I Gotta Feeling.” It makes fun of Kim Jong-il and North Koreans. He later released a sequel called “My Korea’s Over,” a parody of “International Love.”

On October 26, 2014, Rucka Rucka ALI released the song “Ebola (La La)“. It is a parody of Fergie’s “L.A. Love (La La). It humorously details the Ebola epidemic of 2014. It highlights how Ebola spreads and how people stereotyped as “Blacks” have Ebola.



Rucka Rucka ALI’s “Ebola (La La)” Lyrics


[Verse One]
I tell you where it’s from
That’s from where Ebola comes
West Side
It hides in the suitcase
2 days later
It lands in USA
I get it from my girlfriend
& give it to my dad
I catch it on the subway
& leave it in the cab
I eat it at Subway
Drink it at Starbucks
Ebola’s everywhere
& I give no fucks

[Pre-Hook One]
They scared
It’s bad
Ebola’s gonna kill us all dead
They mad
How’d this happen?
Gotta make sure that nobody else gets it
I’m sorry but I have it & you have it
Or you’ll get it so forget it
Don’t sweat it
Just let it be
I’m telling you Ebola’s not the Enemy

[Hook One]
I have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la & you have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la & we have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Everybody has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Selena has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Justin has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Taylor has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Jesus has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la

[Bridge One]
Every shitty little village in Africa has Ebo-la
Every city in America is getting it now
Just go with it bruh

[Verse Two]
Check if he’s Black
He could have Ebola so send him back
In fact keep a eye on the Black Eye Peas
Mostly Black & Guy
Don’t worry about Peas
& the Cosbys could have Ebola also Oprah
Let’s just close up Detroit til this crisis is contained
Don’t let the Obamas on the plane cause

[Pre-Hook Two]
They black, they could have Ebola
Might as well also watch for Ayrabs
If they have a brown face
We’ll keep em safe in Guantanamo Bay
I’m sorry for everybody for the drama but we’re gonna get Ebola if we let black people in
Ebola’s not a country in Africa
It’s the whole continent

[Hook Two]
I have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
You have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Obama has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Kanye has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Will Smith has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
2Pac has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Steve Harvey has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Magic Johnson has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la & AIDS

[Bridge Two]
Diggy & Biggie & Jay-Z & Nas have Ebola
Stephanie DJ & Kimmy Gibbler have Ebola
Every shittle little village in Africa has Ebo-la
Every city in America is getting it now
Just go with the flow

[Hook Three]
You have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Your mom has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Your Uncle Tom has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Ariana has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Ben Affleck has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
Matt Damon has Ebo-la-la-la-la-la
He got it from Ben Affleck
The Kardashians have Ebo-la-la-la-la-la

I have some Ebola
We all have Ebola
We need some Ricola
& some Pepsi Cola
Tommy has Ebola
Billy has Ebola
Jason has Ebola
Trini has Ebola
Oh wait no, she died years ago